


You've Been Gone For Six Years, Jamie. Why Would You Think Everything Would Stay The Same?

by Randomworddudette



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bunny Is y life force, Criminal deeds, Gen, God damnit, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I gave her Fire powers tho, I'm a Bastard, Implied Character Kidnapping, It's kind of like a superhero AU where everyone low-key has abilities?, Jamie is indeed Douchebag from the games, Kenny Dies, Multiple times, South Park AU, i guess, oh well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 23:40:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15181880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomworddudette/pseuds/Randomworddudette
Summary: Semi-Au collection of short stories that'll hopefully make more sense the more I write them.





	You've Been Gone For Six Years, Jamie. Why Would You Think Everything Would Stay The Same?

It had been six years since Jamie had put on her superhero costume. Six long years of constant travelling, leaving people to run from the government before supposedly dying in a car crash, and running back to South Park - the one place where they wouldn’t look for her. Six years of disconnect from the friends she’d made, four years of disconnect from her Elementary School girlfriend.

_ Ex _ -Girlfriend. Jamie didn’t deserve Rebecca after everything that had happened. Jamie didn’t deserve anything, nevertheless the most gorgeous girl in existence.

 

She sat on her bed in her chunky boots and biking jacket, her wardrobe door half-open, the cardboard box inside open and spilling her childhood onto the floor where she’d dug madly for her costume. She was hunched over, her eyes glassy, blank and tired, her cheeks red and her eyelashes stuck together in clumps. He scarred hands rubbed the soft material of the cloak between her fingers, the mask looking back at her blankly, daring to put it on.  _ Try me _ , it seemed to whisper. She simply glared back at it, dumbly waiting for some sign for what she could do.

 

A car drove past, the red glare lighting up her room for a second before fading back to black. Her silhouette looked small, tired, weak. She sighed, deciding that it would be stupid to not take the implication. She supposed that - when you lived in the same town that  _ Jesus Christ  _ frequented in - you should take signs as certainties. She dropped the cloak onto her sheets, but pulled on the mask, the black lenses covering her eyes. She wasn’t surprised that it still fit her, after all this time. She walked to the wardrobe, pulling out a splintered, beaten baseball bat, deciding to stay in her clothes. It didn’t matter what she wore, really, just as long as it was washable, and didn’t give her away too easily. All she was doing was saving her ex-girlfriend.

She stopped at the mirror near the door, looking at herself out of the corner of her eye. She hadn’t given a shit what she looked like, so she’d stayed in her loose grey T-shirt, jeans and her chunky black boots from school. There were fingerless gloves on her hands, and a black biking jacket to keep away the cold.

She put her keys in her pocket, and picked up the baseball bat. She ignored her car - it wouldn’t take long to walk to where she was going.

 

Dr. Alphonse Mephisto had died maybe six months after Jamie had left South Park. According to one of the boys at school, he’d been killed by his own experiment - a DonkeyRabbit that escaped and mauled him to death. The creature had been shot, but not before Mephisto had suffered extreme head trauma. He’d died later in hospital. No-one had been really affected. His staff found other, better jobs. His experiments were done away with by the government. He’d never gone on to human experimentation, so there’d been no criminal charges.

Jamie didn’t really care when she was told of his death. She’d never liked him anyway.

 

His lab had been abandoned, and just about everything illegal that the residents of South Park couldn’t get away with in-town happened there. Drug dealings, murders, muggings, even a few counts of forced intercourse. There’d been animal hunters, squatters, demon sheep, and homeless people stayed there, giving rumour to the place being haunted.

Which meant it was the perfect place for kidnappings and hostage situations.

 

Jamie walked through town at a fast pace, knowing no-one would see her. No-one would really care if they did, anyways, as this was South Park, and weirder things had happened than a seventeen-year-old mute striding towards an abandoned building with a baseball bat and murder in her eyes.

She stopped for a minute at Stark’s Pond, taking care to throw her baseball bat over the wire fence before climbing over - taking care with the barbed wire. She bent her knees when she landed - straightening up quietly when she heard it. A rustle, quiet, then a snap. Like someone was following her.

 

If she was right, she knew exactly who it was, and she glared into the shadows of the woods, before flipping it off. If she was right, he could go fuck himself if he wanted to stop her.

She turned, picking up the baseball bat, and trudging through the snow - it was thicker here than in town, almost mid-calf. Tree branches tugged at her shirt, and she had to shove them away, glaring angrily. The forest had gotten more overgrown since she’d been gone, turning thick and dark and scary - even in early evening.

To her luck, however, she’d chosen a slightly quicker path, and she was walking up the hilly path - the backs of her calves burning with the effort - until she was stood at the door of the Lab.

 

Jamie wrapped a scarf around her mouth and nose - tight as she could make it until her breath didn’t puff out in clouds of white - and pushed open the door. The noise was loud in the silence of the night, and she pulled off one of her gloves, clicking her fingers to chase away the darkness with a ball of fire. She scraped the top of her bat against the wall, letting hbim know she was here. She heard something large scuttle off in the darkness, but she wasn’t scared. If it wasn’t him, it wasn’t something she should be remotely afraid of.

 

She whirled when she heard footsteps behind her, the fire going out so she could grip the bat with both hands. She couldn’t see his face - god, it was stupid to leave the door open when he could just follow her in and stop her - but she knew exactly who the silhouette belonged to. The bouncy question mark was just a dead giveaway.

“You know,” She whispered; the best she could do with her current mental state, “You’re not going to stop me, Dude.”

 

Mysterion took a step forwards, his cloak making a small swishing noise against the tile floors. He’d grown taller, and more toned in the six years she’d been gone. In the little light from the moon, she could see rips and tears in the hood of the cloak - though his face was shrouded in shadow.

“Phoenix, you can’t kill him,” He tried to placate her, ignoring when she scoffed and dropped the bat to her side in a loose grip. “He’s just playing, you know that, right?”

 

She curled her lips in a sneer. “I’m not ‘Phoenix’,  _ Kenny _ . This stopped being a game the moment  _ he _ started putting my girlfriends’  _ life _ in danger.”

 

Mysterion sighed. “She’s not your girlfriend, Jamie. You gave up that right when you left us -  _ her _ \- years ago without a word.”

 

Jamie turned away as something skittered in the shadows furthur in, knowing he was right. Her hand lit up with fire again. “I know that. I -  _ fuck  _ \- I know that, but sometimes I just can’t help but-”  _ Shut up shut up shut up _ . She whipped a hand under her mask, wiping at her eyes, her throat closing up as she held back tears. “No-one else is coming for her, Kenny.”

 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, another at the baseball bat. She didn’t fight him for it as he pulled it away. It clattered loudly against the tile as he threw it away. He walked around to face her - bending so he could look her in the eyes. She didn’t look at him, frowning, so he gently moved her head to face him.

“I’ll get her back, okay?” He said, gently. “Go home, get cleaned up, and I’ll get her back. I promise.”

 

Jamie sighed, before grabbing him by the hem of his cloak and pulling him into a hug. “Thankyou, Kenny,” she mumbled into his shoulder, “and - I’m sorry. For leaving. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

He sighed, and patted her back. “Don’t worry, Jay. Now go on, go.”

 

It took her ten minutes to get back to her house.

 

Rebecca came round thirty minutes later, terrified, disheveled, and weary.

She said there’d been a fight. Her kidnapper had panicked, his powers going manic.

She said her ‘Hero’ had told her to run to Jamie’s house - she’d be safer there - before trying to calm down her kidnapper.

She’d heard the loud crack and said the smell of charred flesh didn’t leave her until she was climbing over the fence of Starks’ Pond.

Kenny was dead.

 

_ God Damnit. _


End file.
